I'm going to be honest. The past 18 months of my life have been hard. Hard down to the deepest parts of my soul. My heart has grieved as my dream of life and family has been shifted and refined. There have been days that waking up and moving through the simple rhythms of the day have taken all my energy and focus.
Soon after the boys and I moved in my parents I was struck with the truth that even when life doesn't look like what I want it to, there are gifts in that place that must be recognized. Thankfulness is an act of recognition. By recognizing the gifts my heart overflows with hope and joy. Thankfulness has become a key daily rhythm for me and for my boys. It focus' me on what is working in my life and in my parenting.
Every other weekend my boys enjoy time with their dad. Honestly, its been difficult to fall into this new rhythm. Often I want to dwell on the negative...the moments I am missing every other weekend or the stress of arranging our life around this every other weekend schedule. When I do, my heart is heavy and the tears are always near the surface. It is my choice to recognize the gift or not... The gift of time to run without pressure of returning by a certain time, the gift of quiet moments in the morning to sleep, read and journal, and the joy and sweetness of the boy's sloppy kisses and wrestling loudness when they returned Sunday evening. I'm not saying that tears don't rise to the surfaces still but in my recognition of the gift I am able to smile through the tears.
Thoughts for this week...
- What are the gifts of each day?
- How will I recognize the gift each day?